My liver just broke up with me...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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