I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
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You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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