i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize