You're a womanizer and a bitch.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize