I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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