My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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