bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
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The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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