3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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