guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize