so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize