Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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