He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
jump out the window naked night went bad
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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