I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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