Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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