you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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