I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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