You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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