I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
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Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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