my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize