just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
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After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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