I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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