There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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