I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize