whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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