the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
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i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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