just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
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I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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