i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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