No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He keeps bees of course he's weird
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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