I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Jerry, you need to find god
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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