The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize