Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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