I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize