When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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