I heard we made out
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
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In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
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i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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