Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize