actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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