my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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