it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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