remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
areolas are like halos for boobs.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize