Texts From Last Night

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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY

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  (260): I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY http://tfl.nu/3vks
  Replies (4) Good night (1935) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.

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  (203): Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/gcqa
  Replies (24) Good night (535) Bad night (2599) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent

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  (615): everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent http://tfl.nu/hnio
  Replies (39) Good night (3213) Bad night (597)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...

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  (914): I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you... http://tfl.nu/2hf7
  Replies (59) Good night (11218) Bad night (1363) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.

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  (641): My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning. http://tfl.nu/bmvl
  Replies (8) Good night (2148) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.

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  (972): He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/ko2r
  Replies (8) Good night (776) Bad night (3417) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.

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  (714): The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night. http://tfl.nu/euw3
  Replies (16) Good night (554) Bad night (2688)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  He smells so good today

  (1-641): View more from Iowa

  Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.

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  (641): He smells so good today (1-641): Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit. http://tfl.nu/5jte
  Replies (13) Good night (1987) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face

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  (541): Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face http://tfl.nu/zdd8
  Replies (11) Good night (1886) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.

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  (484): He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER. http://tfl.nu/q9ww
  Replies (12) Good night (1310) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now

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  (954): I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now http://tfl.nu/o3a4
  Replies (8) Good night (1732) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.

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  (360): I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line. http://tfl.nu/9tdh
  Replies (2) Good night (250) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.

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  (330): The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it. http://tfl.nu/56k9
  Replies (11) Good night (777) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.

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  (330): Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive. http://tfl.nu/6c5n
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (151) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

  (831): View more from California

  I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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  (650): I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up? (831): I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak http://tfl.nu/xa8u
  Replies (4) Good night (1174) Bad night (159)

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