I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Never underestimate the power of titties
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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