you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
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Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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