I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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