"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize