the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
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Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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