I wish you could order shots online.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize