So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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