i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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