I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
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Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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