Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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